Head For The Hills
Well, not much to update in the sense of my personal exploration or experiences today in the real world - I walked around downtown Salem today with my mom and sisters and explored the deepest niches of it's streets - eateries, booksellers, an apothecary, and an excellent record shop. Otherwise, I played 3D-blacklit golf among family and pirates (taking fourth place) and am currently enthralled (but obviously, not really) in taking in the three-hour long epic, "Titanic" (which, curiously, I haven't seen in almost a decade). There's not much more to say about today except a boat is sinking and Leo DiCaprio is hanging on for dear life while floating on a friggin' door. Ah, Hollywood. You jest.
"Give him the necklace, you crazy broad!"
After that "disaster" (hell yes, that's hilarious!), I sit here typing in the dark. Oh, I had the strangest dream last night. Funny I should remember it as "the strangest dream"; funny I should remember it at all. I might have to give this one it's own title (wait for it, I'm concocting it as I type). This dream involved the ghosts of past lived - good memories and short-lived times that I thought (or wished) could last forever. It was like nothing had changed - puzzle pieces and slight reflections of time already lived fell together in a stained glass mosaic of what...I guess, now would be like.
I could feel the breath of the players around me; I could taste the atmosphere that I once knew. The place: a house held together by the foundations of my freshman/sophomore years and pieced together by Picasso-like floorplans. A hallway unrecognized. A window dancing from room to room. The typical fashion of our usual dream states. The people: a love undoubted and a young boy narrating to the tune of jazz standards. This music reverberating through this homely yet empty space, I saw my world spiral out of control and crash land in a gleeful shattering of beauty. I haven't enjoyed dreaming this much in a long time.
On the other hand, I woke up questioning it myself. I wondered, "Why now? Why all of a sudden, I can't seem to keep these thoughts out of my dreams, let alone my waking life?" I also brought up a usual favorite: "...what if?" This ended only in tragedy. I saw no dismissal, yet no conclusion. I saw nothing but a neverending horizon of unanswerable questions that I - daresay it - am forever doomed to ask.
But...even within my topsy-turvy thought process, I still felt lightness over the whole situation. I felt the "maybe" of everything...just...sitting there in the air. It felt warm, and right. Everything did for those few seconds. I've been thinking about those few moments for the rest of the day. It's been with me everywhere I've been - sitting there brewing in the back of my mind.
I'd love to say "why not". I see no problem in fate progressing how I always believed - back then - it would. I see no problem in events tumbling over in a waterfall of chaos, and ending up with the perfect picture. I see no problem in missing one bus, stepping in an unusually optimistic puddle, and then making dinner late to find a completely different person sitting across from me - ready to discuss the wine choice and the latest in musical theatre. My love does wait for me - twirling her fork and tapping her foot to the latest Tony Bennett cover artist at the bar. I hope she's patient.
I hope I'm not alone here - I hope that soul still exists within another. I hope that another knows exactly what I'm talking about - rambling about James Cameron and public transportation. I hope they know exactly where I'm going before I get there. I'm going to make that call, and hopefully I'll be right on time.
Head for the hills, I think I've lost it.
"Give him the necklace, you crazy broad!"
After that "disaster" (hell yes, that's hilarious!), I sit here typing in the dark. Oh, I had the strangest dream last night. Funny I should remember it as "the strangest dream"; funny I should remember it at all. I might have to give this one it's own title (wait for it, I'm concocting it as I type). This dream involved the ghosts of past lived - good memories and short-lived times that I thought (or wished) could last forever. It was like nothing had changed - puzzle pieces and slight reflections of time already lived fell together in a stained glass mosaic of what...I guess, now would be like.
I could feel the breath of the players around me; I could taste the atmosphere that I once knew. The place: a house held together by the foundations of my freshman/sophomore years and pieced together by Picasso-like floorplans. A hallway unrecognized. A window dancing from room to room. The typical fashion of our usual dream states. The people: a love undoubted and a young boy narrating to the tune of jazz standards. This music reverberating through this homely yet empty space, I saw my world spiral out of control and crash land in a gleeful shattering of beauty. I haven't enjoyed dreaming this much in a long time.
On the other hand, I woke up questioning it myself. I wondered, "Why now? Why all of a sudden, I can't seem to keep these thoughts out of my dreams, let alone my waking life?" I also brought up a usual favorite: "...what if?" This ended only in tragedy. I saw no dismissal, yet no conclusion. I saw nothing but a neverending horizon of unanswerable questions that I - daresay it - am forever doomed to ask.
But...even within my topsy-turvy thought process, I still felt lightness over the whole situation. I felt the "maybe" of everything...just...sitting there in the air. It felt warm, and right. Everything did for those few seconds. I've been thinking about those few moments for the rest of the day. It's been with me everywhere I've been - sitting there brewing in the back of my mind.
I'd love to say "why not". I see no problem in fate progressing how I always believed - back then - it would. I see no problem in events tumbling over in a waterfall of chaos, and ending up with the perfect picture. I see no problem in missing one bus, stepping in an unusually optimistic puddle, and then making dinner late to find a completely different person sitting across from me - ready to discuss the wine choice and the latest in musical theatre. My love does wait for me - twirling her fork and tapping her foot to the latest Tony Bennett cover artist at the bar. I hope she's patient.
I hope I'm not alone here - I hope that soul still exists within another. I hope that another knows exactly what I'm talking about - rambling about James Cameron and public transportation. I hope they know exactly where I'm going before I get there. I'm going to make that call, and hopefully I'll be right on time.
Head for the hills, I think I've lost it.
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