The Christmas Cliché
It's that special night - that night before Christmas that all the special songs and poems are written about. This is the night where, as a kid, I could never get much sleep at all. I'd be tired and sleepy, but my heart would keep pounding like a knocking at the door - "wake up, you idiot! wake up!". This was when I used to go to bed at nine o'clock. Now it is plainly later, and I still find myself awake - this time to the beat of the keyboard keys instead of my heart.
It's weird how many traditions have been abandoned in my family as I grow up. I don't feel disappointed or upset about it - it's just how things have progressed as I've gotten older. This year especially stands out from the rest - being in a new place completely. In years past, I would count down the days impatiently until Christmas. In newer history, I would exchange my loving remarks and gifts with Madeline. Now, Christmas just jumped upon me. Only forty minutes until that "big day". I used to yearn for Christmas break - pray for snow - wonder endlessly about those glistening boxes under the tree. Now, I pass the few days before the 25th walking around in overcast Salem, listening to music, and spilling my thoughts about love, life, and my mind onto this journal.
So many things on top of so many things. I talked to Madeline for the first time in a long time - expressing how much I missed talking to her, and remarking on how years past have definitely made a difference. I talked to Melissa for a short period of time - just called to ask her how she's been - I didn't even have the chance to wish her a happy holiday. I talked to Dustin today - just as he was waking up - but didn't get the chance to ask him how things were going and what he was thinking about. I've kind of isolated the majority of myself from the world - this about the biggest outlet I have at the moment.
I can not reveal my true nature until the time is right.
I guess all I'm trying to really get at tonight is...these holidays (whatever they are for anyone out there - Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Atheist Gift Giving Day, etc.) really have a way of changing us. In a beam of light - far from the gray cold of December days - we have opened ourselves to our friends, family, and loved ones. We allow ourselves to be molded even more in these few weeks than in most parts of our lives. I think Kyle said it best earlier tonight: "Don't just let tomorrow be your one day of celebration and giving...make every day that way!"
We don't really give ourselves the credit of celebrating our lives - we get these great (don't mistake me; they really are great) excuses to show how much everyone means to us, how much the world means to us, and how much we mean to ourselves - but we forget to even dance on the idea the other three-hundred-and sixty-some days of the year we're not celebrating one thing or another. Well I say, dance like it's already 2008! Give gifts in April! Drink to yourself for your birthday four times a year! Remember what it's like to be with a loved one - not just on February 14th - but every day you are with them! Do not take this time for granted.
We might not have a second chance.
Happy Holidays, Happy Christmas, and Love Always.
It's weird how many traditions have been abandoned in my family as I grow up. I don't feel disappointed or upset about it - it's just how things have progressed as I've gotten older. This year especially stands out from the rest - being in a new place completely. In years past, I would count down the days impatiently until Christmas. In newer history, I would exchange my loving remarks and gifts with Madeline. Now, Christmas just jumped upon me. Only forty minutes until that "big day". I used to yearn for Christmas break - pray for snow - wonder endlessly about those glistening boxes under the tree. Now, I pass the few days before the 25th walking around in overcast Salem, listening to music, and spilling my thoughts about love, life, and my mind onto this journal.
So many things on top of so many things. I talked to Madeline for the first time in a long time - expressing how much I missed talking to her, and remarking on how years past have definitely made a difference. I talked to Melissa for a short period of time - just called to ask her how she's been - I didn't even have the chance to wish her a happy holiday. I talked to Dustin today - just as he was waking up - but didn't get the chance to ask him how things were going and what he was thinking about. I've kind of isolated the majority of myself from the world - this about the biggest outlet I have at the moment.
I can not reveal my true nature until the time is right.
I guess all I'm trying to really get at tonight is...these holidays (whatever they are for anyone out there - Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Atheist Gift Giving Day, etc.) really have a way of changing us. In a beam of light - far from the gray cold of December days - we have opened ourselves to our friends, family, and loved ones. We allow ourselves to be molded even more in these few weeks than in most parts of our lives. I think Kyle said it best earlier tonight: "Don't just let tomorrow be your one day of celebration and giving...make every day that way!"
We don't really give ourselves the credit of celebrating our lives - we get these great (don't mistake me; they really are great) excuses to show how much everyone means to us, how much the world means to us, and how much we mean to ourselves - but we forget to even dance on the idea the other three-hundred-and sixty-some days of the year we're not celebrating one thing or another. Well I say, dance like it's already 2008! Give gifts in April! Drink to yourself for your birthday four times a year! Remember what it's like to be with a loved one - not just on February 14th - but every day you are with them! Do not take this time for granted.
We might not have a second chance.
Happy Holidays, Happy Christmas, and Love Always.
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