The Rush, Part One
I don't want to go back. What do I have to go back to? I want to have nothing to go back to. I want to never have to worry again. I want to be free. Break these shackles...break this chain...break my uselessness...crack my skull...let the blood flow out onto the ground. Watch it run like rivers in the soil...telling stories so quietly. Put me in a giant glass box labeled "GONE BAD", and put in Warehouse 136...never to be opened...never to be cared for. Watch me never struggle...I know what I deserve. Alone in my world.
I don't regret anything I've done; I don't regret my life. I don't think I regret anything at all. I just never know the good and bad decision. I never know when to draw my personal line...yelling to myself that there is something stopping me. Why the fuck should there be? I don't want to be stopped. I'm sick of it...I don't need to be trapped in this glass box my whole life. I think either I'm missing out on something...or I've forgotten what it's meant to live. To love. Something. Help me, please.
I'm giving up. I'm not losing my mind...I'm not losing my sense. I know exactly what I mean. I give up. I GIVE UP. Use someone else as a stand-in. I'm perfectly fine...I just don't care. I'm a person who's guilt dies in seconds. I never feel my heart being eaten up from inside. It's already gone. Guilt doesn't bother me. I could kill, and not feel guilty. I've reached a point where lies are survival, and I'm just a dummy on strings. A dummy.
A dummy.
I don't regret anything I've done; I don't regret my life. I don't think I regret anything at all. I just never know the good and bad decision. I never know when to draw my personal line...yelling to myself that there is something stopping me. Why the fuck should there be? I don't want to be stopped. I'm sick of it...I don't need to be trapped in this glass box my whole life. I think either I'm missing out on something...or I've forgotten what it's meant to live. To love. Something. Help me, please.
I'm giving up. I'm not losing my mind...I'm not losing my sense. I know exactly what I mean. I give up. I GIVE UP. Use someone else as a stand-in. I'm perfectly fine...I just don't care. I'm a person who's guilt dies in seconds. I never feel my heart being eaten up from inside. It's already gone. Guilt doesn't bother me. I could kill, and not feel guilty. I've reached a point where lies are survival, and I'm just a dummy on strings. A dummy.
A dummy.
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