It's Like Praying: What Do You Risk?
I made a mix...I don't really know if I can call it that. I mean, it's the first successful attempt I have made to create a collection of music that truly captures the feeling I recorded so carefully in my heart during the last few days. There are some things in life you will never forget for some reason or another, and those few days I spent at Festival will probably be one of them. Why? Because for the first time, in a long time, I felt relaxed...alive...myself...at peace. So I made this mix; an assembly of emotion to convey the truth in my heart. And my ears.
It starts out quietly, at a relaxed pace; crooning so sweetly in your ears as if the sun is rising in front of you (Miles Davis and Friends - Caffaro's Theme). You feel the cool breeze against your skin, and you awaken so carefully as not to disturb the peace around you. You are relaxed, and one with the love you feel for the world. You are alive, and you love to feel so alive. The full story erupts from a powerful song of protest; of somewhat truth. A higher message (Bright Eyes - Method Acting). Emotions racing high...laced intricately with the realization that you make life as it is. You truly wish you could keep living this experience every night, but you know it could never be the same. It's once in a lifetime, and take it for what it is. "It's not a movie...no private screening...this method acting...well, I call it living." The painful cry of "on and on and on and on..." unleashes in your ears, and you begin to comprehend that there is never an end...never a beginning...it just IS. The world explodes in a motion-picture playback of the events so far. Everything around you seems like it could be placed in a movie...so cinematic (AFI - This Celluloid Dream). You feel twisted in your thoughts, confused and hurt. Hurt by what? You can barely see where you are going, and trip carelessly on broken hearts and a field of shed tears to gather enough energy to finally admit to some unknown power..."IN YOUR RADIANCE I MELT."
You let go of your frustration, and a pure feeling of exhaustion overcomes you. But still you are plagued by some unknown emotion...hiding somewhere deep inside (Evanescence - My Immortal). You can't decide if you are happy or upset...even the simplest of stereotypical feeling seems parallel and useless. You let go of everything and fall quietly into a world of half-life...aware of the world, but asleep inside. Time passes quickly, and nothing means more than being safe for once and all. So tired. You slip into a dream...an atmosphere of indistinguishable shapes forms images in your head. Clouded by understanding, you try and convince some unseen being that you really must mean something to world (Idiot Pilot - White Noise). You wouldn't suffer so much, unless you were needed. Unless there was some unknown reason to exist. "You suffer for them," the being calls back. You aren't anything in life but yourself, and you have to make yourself as alive as possible. "You're dying for a solo." You awaken. You're back where you started; you recognize your surroundings and smile. You have a second chance; you have another day. Another day to live. You search for others, hoping to share this unbearable amount of happiness with the world (Forever Down - Life Alone Is No Life At All). You smile endlessly. You can't keep it in; you can't explain it. You worship every breath of cold air as a blessing. You laugh like it's your last. Eat, drink, and be merry.
The world fast-forwards around you, and you are caught up in a flurry of misunderstanding. The problems and concerns of the world suffocate you (Radiohead - My Iron Lung). You strive to bring the world to happiness; why aren't they happy? Why aren't you all happy? You dance from face to face...each problem more suffocating than the last. You drop to your knees. Why aren't they happy? You're falling...You know you're trying. You're trying and trying to fix everyone else's problems. Then you stop. You stare into space. Why? It's NO BIG DEAL. Just forget this all and move on. Just forget this all and move on (Box Car Racer - Elevator). There isn't any important reason to suffer. There is nothing truly upsetting. It's all folly of emotion. Useless. You laugh. I mean, why stay like this? There isn't any reason not to live the beautiful life that is presented so gift-like before you. Hold it, cherish it. In the end, we're all that we've got. But what if you're wrong? You brace for the second side of the argument. The problems around you bind you in chains, and clamp you to a wall of despair. This prison holds tight; withstanding every struggle, every movement, every attempt for escape...(The Postal Service - This Place Is A Prison). Your emotions are ripped from your heart...you are drained of all remorse. Then it all floods back...overwhelming you...never-ending torture. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
You admit defeat. You are alone. The simple hand of a beautiful friend reaches out to grab you. You pull it in and never let go (Matchbox Twenty - You Won't Be Mine). They hold you...rocking you in their arms. You feel warm. You haven't felt warm forever. The chill in your bones lessens with every breath...every heart beat. What have you achieved? What is wrong? You have reached the lowest depths of the world around you, but have also tasted the sweet air of euphoria. What is wrong? You can't really understand...it's back to square one (Deftones - Pink Maggit). It's back to routine; it's back to life itself. It's back to something that you subconsciously tried to escape. Go back; you need it. So in ending, you have completed a trivial cycle. What for? You have lost meaning (Richard O'Brien (RHPS) - Superheroes). You close your eyes, and you wait for something. You haven't found it yet.
You wait. (The Credits Roll - You Are My Sunshine)
It starts out quietly, at a relaxed pace; crooning so sweetly in your ears as if the sun is rising in front of you (Miles Davis and Friends - Caffaro's Theme). You feel the cool breeze against your skin, and you awaken so carefully as not to disturb the peace around you. You are relaxed, and one with the love you feel for the world. You are alive, and you love to feel so alive. The full story erupts from a powerful song of protest; of somewhat truth. A higher message (Bright Eyes - Method Acting). Emotions racing high...laced intricately with the realization that you make life as it is. You truly wish you could keep living this experience every night, but you know it could never be the same. It's once in a lifetime, and take it for what it is. "It's not a movie...no private screening...this method acting...well, I call it living." The painful cry of "on and on and on and on..." unleashes in your ears, and you begin to comprehend that there is never an end...never a beginning...it just IS. The world explodes in a motion-picture playback of the events so far. Everything around you seems like it could be placed in a movie...so cinematic (AFI - This Celluloid Dream). You feel twisted in your thoughts, confused and hurt. Hurt by what? You can barely see where you are going, and trip carelessly on broken hearts and a field of shed tears to gather enough energy to finally admit to some unknown power..."IN YOUR RADIANCE I MELT."
You let go of your frustration, and a pure feeling of exhaustion overcomes you. But still you are plagued by some unknown emotion...hiding somewhere deep inside (Evanescence - My Immortal). You can't decide if you are happy or upset...even the simplest of stereotypical feeling seems parallel and useless. You let go of everything and fall quietly into a world of half-life...aware of the world, but asleep inside. Time passes quickly, and nothing means more than being safe for once and all. So tired. You slip into a dream...an atmosphere of indistinguishable shapes forms images in your head. Clouded by understanding, you try and convince some unseen being that you really must mean something to world (Idiot Pilot - White Noise). You wouldn't suffer so much, unless you were needed. Unless there was some unknown reason to exist. "You suffer for them," the being calls back. You aren't anything in life but yourself, and you have to make yourself as alive as possible. "You're dying for a solo." You awaken. You're back where you started; you recognize your surroundings and smile. You have a second chance; you have another day. Another day to live. You search for others, hoping to share this unbearable amount of happiness with the world (Forever Down - Life Alone Is No Life At All). You smile endlessly. You can't keep it in; you can't explain it. You worship every breath of cold air as a blessing. You laugh like it's your last. Eat, drink, and be merry.
The world fast-forwards around you, and you are caught up in a flurry of misunderstanding. The problems and concerns of the world suffocate you (Radiohead - My Iron Lung). You strive to bring the world to happiness; why aren't they happy? Why aren't you all happy? You dance from face to face...each problem more suffocating than the last. You drop to your knees. Why aren't they happy? You're falling...You know you're trying. You're trying and trying to fix everyone else's problems. Then you stop. You stare into space. Why? It's NO BIG DEAL. Just forget this all and move on. Just forget this all and move on (Box Car Racer - Elevator). There isn't any important reason to suffer. There is nothing truly upsetting. It's all folly of emotion. Useless. You laugh. I mean, why stay like this? There isn't any reason not to live the beautiful life that is presented so gift-like before you. Hold it, cherish it. In the end, we're all that we've got. But what if you're wrong? You brace for the second side of the argument. The problems around you bind you in chains, and clamp you to a wall of despair. This prison holds tight; withstanding every struggle, every movement, every attempt for escape...(The Postal Service - This Place Is A Prison). Your emotions are ripped from your heart...you are drained of all remorse. Then it all floods back...overwhelming you...never-ending torture. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
You admit defeat. You are alone. The simple hand of a beautiful friend reaches out to grab you. You pull it in and never let go (Matchbox Twenty - You Won't Be Mine). They hold you...rocking you in their arms. You feel warm. You haven't felt warm forever. The chill in your bones lessens with every breath...every heart beat. What have you achieved? What is wrong? You have reached the lowest depths of the world around you, but have also tasted the sweet air of euphoria. What is wrong? You can't really understand...it's back to square one (Deftones - Pink Maggit). It's back to routine; it's back to life itself. It's back to something that you subconsciously tried to escape. Go back; you need it. So in ending, you have completed a trivial cycle. What for? You have lost meaning (Richard O'Brien (RHPS) - Superheroes). You close your eyes, and you wait for something. You haven't found it yet.
You wait. (The Credits Roll - You Are My Sunshine)
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