Murder Murderer Love Inc.

I sit here...not knowing. I look at the people I know, and see chaos. It's not change; I've seen that. Surely though, it is something. Lately, everyone that I could live and die for - holding a friendship, an aquaintance, or a passing note in hand - I have barely been able to stand. It's like the world shifted a little to the left, and everyone turned a looked a little past me - never looking at me, but really, looking through me. It's like the parallels have been severed, and the balanced understanding between two worlds was lost. Every step I take, it takes a little more effort to take a breath...tired, broken, sore...I collapse in a helpless pile of defeat. I look at how one day the world turns one way, and the next, I'm thrown off my feet in a reverse direction...dizzy and without bearings. It's almost satisfying to just imagine the idea of "alone", and drift inside that dream for awhile. It's almost relaxing. You never have to worry anyone...anything...you never have to worry for the well-being of others. Selfish and stupid, inside your own little world, you play with your toys and try hold your breath (for little do you know, you are drowning). When the water finally fills your lungs, a cool, clean feeling of release overwhelms you, and you smile...floating slowly through the blue of your dream...blue...blue...blue...then black. Tell me what I've gotten myself into.