Supply And Demand. Reflected Glory. Release Me. Release Me.
My lack of sleep is becoming evident. I haven't had a goodnight's sleep in a long time. It's not that I don't have the opportunity to get enough...it's just that, for some reason, I haven't been able to. The play exhausts me during the day, and school doesn't help either. When I finally get home, I don't want to do anything but sleep. I want to go to sleep at nine o'clock...eight o'clock even sometimes...but for some reason, I never can. When I do finally get in bed, sleep barely comes. Fantastic dreams of insanity have overwhelmed my thoughts as of lately. It's like I'm watching life from inside an abstract painting. I can't tell up from down - right from left - reality from dreams. I fall asleep while sleeping...I fall through seemingly solid ground just so I can't reach what I want...I can barely open my eyes without the fear that my dreams have become my reality. A lot of my dreams involve the play, or the normal school day...and quite a lot of the time Madeline. I don't know if this all means something, but if it does - I don't want to understand. Hopefully dreams do not tell of the future...or I'd die now, just to die happy. Let's just hope for the best.
My grades have been slipping quietly down the drain...my Geometry grade is nothing to laugh about, and Chemistry has definitely never been my best suit. I'm scared that I need to get both of them up, or I won't be eligible for Olions. I definitely can't have that happen now; at this time. I just can't have two F's, and I think I have that under control (hopefully). School is so trivial and unimportant compared to the things that I'd rather give my time.
I've been spending some more time with Melissa as of lately. It's really nice to talk and be with her again; I've really missed her as a good friend (as I've lately realized). It is a relief not to have to fight with her anymore either. It's like I'm practically getting to know her for the first time again. I've also spent a lot more time with Meg. She's just such a fun person! I've had so many conversations with her that make absolutely no sense, but that's alright. It's so crazy to spend time with her, but I wouldn't miss a minute of it. Altogether, I'm having so many experiences with new and old freinds because of the play (once again), that it's going to be so empty once the play is all over. It will be a lot like the withdrawl I've experienced after every performance I've been in during these two short years in Olions. One Acts start right after the last weekend of the play, so there won't be that much of a break to sit around and think about it. It's going to be a busy year; that's for sure. I'm definitely going to try out for the One Acts this year, and even if I don't get in...I'm still definitely going to tech if I can.
So, the show was last night. Mixed emotions? Nervousness? Was I scared? Not really. I was very excited by the time five-thirty rolled around, and I got my energy up my listening and jumping around to some Flogging Molly, and dancing foolishly with David, Trevor, and Robert to "I'm Too Sexy". I was pretty confident that I was going to do well, and wasn't really nervous. I guess it was because we had done it so many times, that I felt really comfortable with it all. I could focus my extra energy on "kicking it up a notch". And a lot of my friends and Mr. K said that I sure did kick it up a notch. But, tonight will be better. A second attempt is always better, right? The show altogether was amazing, and going on stage and bowing at the end gave me such an adrenaline rush that I didn't know what to do with all the energy. Tonight will be a lot of fun. Samantha is having her birthday party afterwards! I can barely wait until tonight.
Release me. Release me.
My grades have been slipping quietly down the drain...my Geometry grade is nothing to laugh about, and Chemistry has definitely never been my best suit. I'm scared that I need to get both of them up, or I won't be eligible for Olions. I definitely can't have that happen now; at this time. I just can't have two F's, and I think I have that under control (hopefully). School is so trivial and unimportant compared to the things that I'd rather give my time.
I've been spending some more time with Melissa as of lately. It's really nice to talk and be with her again; I've really missed her as a good friend (as I've lately realized). It is a relief not to have to fight with her anymore either. It's like I'm practically getting to know her for the first time again. I've also spent a lot more time with Meg. She's just such a fun person! I've had so many conversations with her that make absolutely no sense, but that's alright. It's so crazy to spend time with her, but I wouldn't miss a minute of it. Altogether, I'm having so many experiences with new and old freinds because of the play (once again), that it's going to be so empty once the play is all over. It will be a lot like the withdrawl I've experienced after every performance I've been in during these two short years in Olions. One Acts start right after the last weekend of the play, so there won't be that much of a break to sit around and think about it. It's going to be a busy year; that's for sure. I'm definitely going to try out for the One Acts this year, and even if I don't get in...I'm still definitely going to tech if I can.
So, the show was last night. Mixed emotions? Nervousness? Was I scared? Not really. I was very excited by the time five-thirty rolled around, and I got my energy up my listening and jumping around to some Flogging Molly, and dancing foolishly with David, Trevor, and Robert to "I'm Too Sexy". I was pretty confident that I was going to do well, and wasn't really nervous. I guess it was because we had done it so many times, that I felt really comfortable with it all. I could focus my extra energy on "kicking it up a notch". And a lot of my friends and Mr. K said that I sure did kick it up a notch. But, tonight will be better. A second attempt is always better, right? The show altogether was amazing, and going on stage and bowing at the end gave me such an adrenaline rush that I didn't know what to do with all the energy. Tonight will be a lot of fun. Samantha is having her birthday party afterwards! I can barely wait until tonight.
Release me. Release me.
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